ima m..m..mac mac.. and p..p...pimp

yesterday i decided to stop selling false hope. i realized i've been making too many deals with the wrong people and the only place it left me was more stuck than i was before. i decided to stop looking for someone who could be my boyfriend. the person that i really want to be my boyfriend, i can't even change him to believe in relationships again. man i really like him though and i can remember his smile from the last time i saw him and we were on my bed. i keep my boys in line, but this one, i'd bend over backwards for to make him mine and just simply mine. not EVEN gonna point out how cute our kids would be -- that's outrageously far into the future, but just know that our kids would have some VERY pretty hair. so as of right now, i placed myself on chill mode with dudes. i'm not saying that i'm through with boys and eff em because hello, do you know who i am? but i decided that for a month, yea i think a month, i'ma just NOT initially contact boys that I like. i'ma just let them call me or text me first prior to me talking to them for the day. as soon as i think i have one gone, he just pops back up onto the scence and it becomes something serious and then poof! he's out of my life again. i should just be like the girl in confessions of a shopaholic (aw...i saw that movie with him), and just be married to my money, my clothes, and my shoes. they'll never leave me and they'll always love me. and, once again i think it's good that i'm not in a relationship right now either. i have too much stuff on my plate currently at the moment. a relationship would be a GREAT big grand burden. but i do want to be with him though. i'm discipling myself to catch up with chinese stuff. and since i already contracted for rotc, i need to start actually being solider april. i need some fun for tonight, i just texted Terry [man i love Terry] to see what he was doing. i want to go see Coraline. man i love being around Terry. we have so much fun together and we're always laughing at something. hopefully he's not busy tonight. man my lap gets loud. but terry has a band banquet tonight to go to :( blows! i wonder if coraline is still even playing. hmm..daniel owes me a movie date, not even to mention jared owes me a movies AND dinner date. man it aint even in 3D in dc no more. blow my life.